The fruit needs the root...

‎"The root of your salvation glorifies God privately, and the fruit of your salvation glorifies God publicly." - John Piper

the past is yesterday

"God doesn't let your past dictate your future..." 

When it rains...it hurricRAINS...

Lately I've noticed that Rainy Days don't seem to be anyone's favorite. 

At the Starbucks where I work, on rainy days the customers seem quieter, the air colder, everyone's mood more soaked with tension and frustration. That includes the employees I work with. And it got me thinking about rainy days recently. Occasionally to customers I'll say, "have to have the rain days to appreciate the sun, right?" Seems simple, silly really.

But isn't it kind of true? In fact, I would say that rainy days are essential to appreciating the sun. Not only that, but rain days are crucial to the beauty of life that relies so heavily on the rain. Without the rain, things don't get fed, they don't get nourished, they don't grow. 

So when it seems disgusting out, cold and wet, and my mood is damper...I'm going to start remembering that I need to appreciate the rain. Because through the gloom and the gray and the cold darkness of it all, I am able to grow and to live...and to better understand how fond I am of the light. 

The Commitment Trick

It's been an incredibly long time since I updated my blog; however, I've still be writing and my life has continued to provide some incredible material.

Most recently life has handed me a pretty simple lesson, one about commitment. A lesson that, let's be honest here, I probably should have learned by now.

About two weeks ago I moved into a new rental house with a roommate. A house that isn't on the brightest street in Greenville (for those of you still behind, it's a tad sketchy). So when a friend asked me to babysit an 8 month old German Shepherd, I was thrilled. I thought the dog might make me feel more secure. Now, I don't know much about German Shepherds so I didn't quite know what I was in for.

And by that I mean, 85 pounds of sheer energy. Charlie, the shepherd puppy, likes to run laps in the house knocking over most anything in his body's path. He also likes to eat anything that seems inedible. For example, tissue paper is his latest find. He also loves my gloves, cotton balls, glass root beer bottles, and santa (maybe he had a bad experience with the guy). So, you're getting the picture that Charlie isn't easy to deal with right? He wants to bite at my hands to get my attention, he wants to jump on me to greet me, he wants to start every morning at 6 or 7am by whining (non-stop).

For the past 10 days, Charlie and I have enjoyed three walks a day...and it's on those walks that I began to fall in love. Charlie, who hasn't been leash trained, would simply walk beside me, stopping when I stop. Sitting when I say sit. Licking at my hand. The walks weren't just good for Charlie...and even on the nights I came home after work, with it super cold out, tired and ready for bed....I came home and grabbed Charlie's leash, put him in the car and took him downtown for a walk. I knew he needed it.

Tonight as we walked downtown, I realized something simple...Charlie had gotten me to commit to him. I look forward to the walks as much as he does and in the few times that I don't...I put his needs above my own. His need for walks have become more important than my desire not to walk (for whatever my reason at that time).

Thank you Charlie, for teaching me about myself...about committing to something and seeing that something through. For teaching me that sometimes what you don't feel like doing can be exactly what you need to do. And for making me get out and do it, cause otherwise you'll destroy my house. :)

So, maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but maybe that's because the dog is busy teaching you.

Wounds heal, but scars are a reminder...

Because of a series of events I like to summarize with the word "life," I haven't really been on top of blogging lately. 

But the past few days events led me to some thoughts I wanted to share (mainly for my mom to read since she is always asking me to blog). The things I'm about to share are not the most appealing. In fact if you have a weak stomach, this might not be the entry to read. 

About a year ago or so, it seems a small bump appeared on my collarbone. I thought nothing of it. It was small and sort of hard to notice. But as time passed, the bump grew slowly in size. It became something I was slightly self-concious about and more noticeable as it grew. During a doctor visit, I had it checked and was told it was no big deal, just a cyst that people often get and can have for years. I was informed by my doctor that I could have it removed whenever I liked. I had just switched jobs and was without insurance for a bit so I decided to wait. 

I'm getting to the point of all this so bare with me. Recently, the cyst appeared to have a white head on it and as people began to look at it, they would say "no big deal you can pop that...and you should". I began to listen to the voices around me (let me clarify none of these people had harmful intentions), but this bump that I had barely thought twice about in a year's time suddenly became my "elephant in the room." I began to feel like it was gross and everyone else was silently confirming that thought. (Mind you the bump was the size of a large garden pea so nothing crazy). But the world around me won.

I picked at the bump. I squeezed it. I pinched it. I made it open up. I pushed on it. I did everything I could to agitate it in hopes that it would somehow become less obvious and go away. Within a day or two, it had become apparent that not only was it MORE obvious, but that I had done something to irritate or infect it. I went to the doctor. The doctor then cut out the infection and gave me a prescription. The solution was easy. But in order to solve the problem simply...I had to allow someone else to clean up the mess I had made by trying to work it out myself AND believing all the non-doctors voices around me. 

That whole personal, kind of icky story is to say this...if you listen to the world, you will make a mess of things and though God will always clean it up when you come to Him and seek His guidance, you can prevent the pain and infection by not trying to solve things entirely on your own. 

The cyst would have been fine until I had insurance (which starts next week, yes next week...so out-of-pocket expenses were paid). Instead of waiting and not letting something bother me that had nothing to do with my interior, but only my exterior...I got consumed and created a problem. The solution had a price. 

I'm learning that sometimes I don't know what's best for me or how to fix the mess I've made (or I'm about to make), but thankfully I believe in a God that does. 

Jeremiah 29:11

(My bullet style wound after the "clean-up." Caution: The image below may gross you out.)