A glimpse of Him.

This morning at church one of my girls I volunteer with ran up and hugged me. She was eager to tell me she was being baptized. And in that moment, I realized how much we can care about the lives of others. She wanted me to care about her baptism and I did. Though I no longer volunteer with the fourth and fifth grade girls (as I am now with the teens at my church) I still love the younger girls immensely. I want for them all that God can offer. I want them to walk so close to Him that they can hear His whispers, smell His grace, and brush up against His unfailing love. I want them to hold tightly the hand of Jesus.

A while back I said I wanted this to be my year of selfless discovery. I wanted to make 2010 about others and not about me. Well, that hasn't been entirely a success, because I'm human and my desires still get in my way. But I have found that I can care and love others so completely, that I want what's best for them above anything else. I want God to pour into them the same blessings and promises that He has poured into me this past year. I want for them LIFE, not just the kind where you wake up breathing, but the kind where you wake up LIVING in FREEDOM and ABOUNDING LOVE.

Though the year is not over...I'm thankful for all that God has done for me and around me in 2010. And I know that when we come to a place where we place more value on the lives of others, than on our own...that is the place where we see a glimpse of God's grace, love and mercy. I want more glimpses of that place.

Thankful that we serve a God who is not self-seeking but rather a God who seeks fully the attention of our selfish hearts.

Psalm 145

From Psalm 145 (Thank you J.E.M!):

⁸The LORD is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹The LORD is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.

-Psalm 145:8-9

the music of life...

If you know me well, you know that I love music. I crave it really. New music. Good music. Music that says something, even if I don't quite know what it is. Music that makes me feel a pain, a passion, a purpose...just by listening to the singer. the lyrics. the beat. Music helps me heal. It motivates me to clean my room and fold my laundry. It comforts me on a long drive. It brings me to worship. It helps me to marinate on my own life, on the little moments. It gives my thoughts a voice. It dances with my heart and often sings softly to my soul. Music liberates me. Perhaps this is not the case for you. Perhaps you find your liberation and your voice in something else. That's ok. And if anyone ever heard me sing, they would definitely not understand my love of music. Maybe that's why I love it so much, because my appreciation stems from the fact that I can't do it. So I'm forced to listen to it. To truly hear it.

Songs often speak for me, to me, or about me and the things in life I love. Here are some lyrics I've enjoyed "hearing" as of late:

"I'm sorry...One foot in sea, one on shore. My heart was never pure, you know me. Love that will not betray you, dismay, or enslave you. It will set you free. Be more like the man you were made to be...There is a design, an alignment to cry, of my heart to see. The beauty of love as it was made to be." -Mumford and Sons

"I'm asking you Lord won't you please draw near...to open my eyes so that I can see how you are working in me. All I need is your love, so come and fill this heart of mine." -Shawn McDonald

"Some are reaching, few are there...everyday we try to find, we search our hearts and our minds. The place we used to call our home, can't be found when we're alone...so, have no envy and no fear." -Joshua Radin

"I got troubles Lord, but not today...cause there gonna wash away. I have sins Lord, but not today...cause there gonna wash away." -Joe Purdy

"Nothing can separate, even if I ran away. Cause Your love never fails...You stay the same through the ages, Your love never changes..." -Chris Quilala

"Cause I'm picking up the message Lord and I'm closer than I've ever been before. So, if you have something to say, say it to me now..." -Glen Hansard (from movie Once)

Sometimes it's soothing to just listen, instead of wanting to hear the sound of our own voice, the noise of our own name. I encourage you, whether it's to music, to a friend, or to the Lord...to stop talking from time to time...and JUST LISTEN.

Cleaning your room can be refreshing.

So, my summer has been extremely busy and it has gone by way too quickly (The main reason I haven't kept up with "blogging").

My room is a portrait of how "on the go" my life has been the past couple of months. I looked at it today and realized it was desiring some attention from me. It was a wreck. While cleaning my room, I found various scriptures I had jotted down. I found notes to friends and to family. I found tickets from concerts and jewelry that I had chalked up as lost. I found a sticky note from my dad that made me smile through tears. And what I discovered is that I learned more about myself today cleaning my room than I have in a long time. I learned a lot about what I place value on. I confirmed what I am passionate about. I acknowledged that I keep too many receipts. I uncovered some unknown knowledge about myself...and was able to reflect on things (moments and memories) that make my heart beat and my soul smile.

The following is one I'd like to share (written March 2009). I changed the names of those that were mentioned in what I had originally written:

Wow, the weight of the world can overwhelm us sometimes. "Jane" is stuck in a spiritual rut. She has all these responsibilities as a wife and a mother, but often wonders where are some of the rewards. I attempted to tell her that sometimes the fruits of our labor aren't seen in this life. Sometimes the harvest comes after we're gone---and often it's not about what we are building on earth, but what we are building in Eternity.

"John" is an amazing guy that has some awesome and unique talents. Talents that I know could make an incredible impact on the Kingdom of God. But he chooses to ignore God's grace and mercy by saying that he is already destined for Hell, so why sacrifice. Why try to build a relationship with a God that he knows could never love him?

But what he doesn't realize is the value that God places upon each one of us. To Him, we are all unique and able to serve a special purpose. To Him, we are all precious and adored. To Him, we are all His children. No two children of God are alike, and He desires for all of His children to live the most fulfilling life possible. One that will lead them to eternity with Him.