Monday, December 19, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
When it rains...it hurricRAINS...
Lately I've noticed that Rainy Days don't seem to be anyone's favorite.
At the Starbucks where I work, on rainy days the customers seem quieter, the air colder, everyone's mood more soaked with tension and frustration. That includes the employees I work with. And it got me thinking about rainy days recently. Occasionally to customers I'll say, "have to have the rain days to appreciate the sun, right?" Seems simple, silly really.
But isn't it kind of true? In fact, I would say that rainy days are essential to appreciating the sun. Not only that, but rain days are crucial to the beauty of life that relies so heavily on the rain. Without the rain, things don't get fed, they don't get nourished, they don't grow.
So when it seems disgusting out, cold and wet, and my mood is damper...I'm going to start remembering that I need to appreciate the rain. Because through the gloom and the gray and the cold darkness of it all, I am able to grow and to live...and to better understand how fond I am of the light.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
The Commitment Trick
It's been an incredibly long time since I updated my blog; however, I've still be writing and my life has continued to provide some incredible material.
Most recently life has handed me a pretty simple lesson, one about commitment. A lesson that, let's be honest here, I probably should have learned by now.
About two weeks ago I moved into a new rental house with a roommate. A house that isn't on the brightest street in Greenville (for those of you still behind, it's a tad sketchy). So when a friend asked me to babysit an 8 month old German Shepherd, I was thrilled. I thought the dog might make me feel more secure. Now, I don't know much about German Shepherds so I didn't quite know what I was in for.
And by that I mean, 85 pounds of sheer energy. Charlie, the shepherd puppy, likes to run laps in the house knocking over most anything in his body's path. He also likes to eat anything that seems inedible. For example, tissue paper is his latest find. He also loves my gloves, cotton balls, glass root beer bottles, and santa (maybe he had a bad experience with the guy). So, you're getting the picture that Charlie isn't easy to deal with right? He wants to bite at my hands to get my attention, he wants to jump on me to greet me, he wants to start every morning at 6 or 7am by whining (non-stop).
For the past 10 days, Charlie and I have enjoyed three walks a day...and it's on those walks that I began to fall in love. Charlie, who hasn't been leash trained, would simply walk beside me, stopping when I stop. Sitting when I say sit. Licking at my hand. The walks weren't just good for Charlie...and even on the nights I came home after work, with it super cold out, tired and ready for bed....I came home and grabbed Charlie's leash, put him in the car and took him downtown for a walk. I knew he needed it.
Tonight as we walked downtown, I realized something simple...Charlie had gotten me to commit to him. I look forward to the walks as much as he does and in the few times that I don't...I put his needs above my own. His need for walks have become more important than my desire not to walk (for whatever my reason at that time).
Thank you Charlie, for teaching me about myself...about committing to something and seeing that something through. For teaching me that sometimes what you don't feel like doing can be exactly what you need to do. And for making me get out and do it, cause otherwise you'll destroy my house. :)
So, maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but maybe that's because the dog is busy teaching you.
Most recently life has handed me a pretty simple lesson, one about commitment. A lesson that, let's be honest here, I probably should have learned by now.
About two weeks ago I moved into a new rental house with a roommate. A house that isn't on the brightest street in Greenville (for those of you still behind, it's a tad sketchy). So when a friend asked me to babysit an 8 month old German Shepherd, I was thrilled. I thought the dog might make me feel more secure. Now, I don't know much about German Shepherds so I didn't quite know what I was in for.
And by that I mean, 85 pounds of sheer energy. Charlie, the shepherd puppy, likes to run laps in the house knocking over most anything in his body's path. He also likes to eat anything that seems inedible. For example, tissue paper is his latest find. He also loves my gloves, cotton balls, glass root beer bottles, and santa (maybe he had a bad experience with the guy). So, you're getting the picture that Charlie isn't easy to deal with right? He wants to bite at my hands to get my attention, he wants to jump on me to greet me, he wants to start every morning at 6 or 7am by whining (non-stop).
For the past 10 days, Charlie and I have enjoyed three walks a day...and it's on those walks that I began to fall in love. Charlie, who hasn't been leash trained, would simply walk beside me, stopping when I stop. Sitting when I say sit. Licking at my hand. The walks weren't just good for Charlie...and even on the nights I came home after work, with it super cold out, tired and ready for bed....I came home and grabbed Charlie's leash, put him in the car and took him downtown for a walk. I knew he needed it.
Tonight as we walked downtown, I realized something simple...Charlie had gotten me to commit to him. I look forward to the walks as much as he does and in the few times that I don't...I put his needs above my own. His need for walks have become more important than my desire not to walk (for whatever my reason at that time).
Thank you Charlie, for teaching me about myself...about committing to something and seeing that something through. For teaching me that sometimes what you don't feel like doing can be exactly what you need to do. And for making me get out and do it, cause otherwise you'll destroy my house. :)
So, maybe you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but maybe that's because the dog is busy teaching you.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Wounds heal, but scars are a reminder...
Because of a series of events I like to summarize with the word "life," I haven't really been on top of blogging lately.
But the past few days events led me to some thoughts I wanted to share (mainly for my mom to read since she is always asking me to blog). The things I'm about to share are not the most appealing. In fact if you have a weak stomach, this might not be the entry to read.
About a year ago or so, it seems a small bump appeared on my collarbone. I thought nothing of it. It was small and sort of hard to notice. But as time passed, the bump grew slowly in size. It became something I was slightly self-concious about and more noticeable as it grew. During a doctor visit, I had it checked and was told it was no big deal, just a cyst that people often get and can have for years. I was informed by my doctor that I could have it removed whenever I liked. I had just switched jobs and was without insurance for a bit so I decided to wait.
I'm getting to the point of all this so bare with me. Recently, the cyst appeared to have a white head on it and as people began to look at it, they would say "no big deal you can pop that...and you should". I began to listen to the voices around me (let me clarify none of these people had harmful intentions), but this bump that I had barely thought twice about in a year's time suddenly became my "elephant in the room." I began to feel like it was gross and everyone else was silently confirming that thought. (Mind you the bump was the size of a large garden pea so nothing crazy). But the world around me won.
I picked at the bump. I squeezed it. I pinched it. I made it open up. I pushed on it. I did everything I could to agitate it in hopes that it would somehow become less obvious and go away. Within a day or two, it had become apparent that not only was it MORE obvious, but that I had done something to irritate or infect it. I went to the doctor. The doctor then cut out the infection and gave me a prescription. The solution was easy. But in order to solve the problem simply...I had to allow someone else to clean up the mess I had made by trying to work it out myself AND believing all the non-doctors voices around me.
That whole personal, kind of icky story is to say this...if you listen to the world, you will make a mess of things and though God will always clean it up when you come to Him and seek His guidance, you can prevent the pain and infection by not trying to solve things entirely on your own.
The cyst would have been fine until I had insurance (which starts next week, yes next week...so out-of-pocket expenses were paid). Instead of waiting and not letting something bother me that had nothing to do with my interior, but only my exterior...I got consumed and created a problem. The solution had a price.
I'm learning that sometimes I don't know what's best for me or how to fix the mess I've made (or I'm about to make), but thankfully I believe in a God that does.
Jeremiah 29:11
(My bullet style wound after the "clean-up." Caution: The image below may gross you out.)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Who are we performing for?
Music is spiritual. The music business is not. -Van Morrison
Anyone who knows me knows that I love music and I never pass up a chance to attend music shows. Recently I heard about a show and I was completely unfamiliar with the artists. Jonny Brush (a guy I'm working with to help promote his music) and his wife adore this band and their music. I wanted to get a feel for the style of music that he appreciates; so, I went with a female friend to the show.
On the way to the show, my friend played their album. The music was intoxicating. It was music that shared stories, deep stories of love. The music was so powerful and intimate in its sound that it was almost impossible not to fall in love with it. And I did.
Less than an hour after hearing the songs for the first time, I was witnessing the songs being performed. The sound of the songs were just as captivating in person, but so was the energy of the performers. As I watched the interaction between the artists first off-stage and then on-stage, I became slightly uncomfortable. Both artists wore wedding rings and my friend mentioned that they were both married, but not to each other. The interaction on stage, however, seemed to tell a different story. I ran into a couple other people I knew at the show and both commented on the intense flirtatious interaction of the artists as well.
I left the show a little frustrated and disappointed to be honest. Even if the interaction between the artists is just for the sake of the show, isn't the value of marriage more sacred than ticket or cd sales? After all, today's world doesn't offer us many examples of incredible marriages. Marriages that are built around unconditional love. A love in such opposition to our selfish nature, that it requires work. Love is not easy to come by and to maintain (lust is).
The next day, I learned that one of the artists was actually someone who had released some Christian albums in the past. I worked at a Christian bookstore in high school when she was big and was very familiar with her past albums. This connection made me even more confused.
Our lives are always on display, on-stage or off. For those who believe in God, every action and decision we make is an opportunity to testify to His glory. With a platform so big and a nightly stage so easily available, I can't help but wonder...who and what is she performing for? Because to me, the answer to that seemed unclear.
*My blog is my opinion and for that reason, I have left out the name of the band. My objective is reflection and is not to judge anyone, especially someone I don't even know. I'm sure I often reflect the Gospel or God poorly in my own life. I just want to be a follower and to encourage other believers to realize that our lives (actions) are always on display, whether good or bad, and may come into question by a non-believer. God is always the correct answer, but is He always the answer we are pointing toward?
Anyone who knows me knows that I love music and I never pass up a chance to attend music shows. Recently I heard about a show and I was completely unfamiliar with the artists. Jonny Brush (a guy I'm working with to help promote his music) and his wife adore this band and their music. I wanted to get a feel for the style of music that he appreciates; so, I went with a female friend to the show.
On the way to the show, my friend played their album. The music was intoxicating. It was music that shared stories, deep stories of love. The music was so powerful and intimate in its sound that it was almost impossible not to fall in love with it. And I did.
Less than an hour after hearing the songs for the first time, I was witnessing the songs being performed. The sound of the songs were just as captivating in person, but so was the energy of the performers. As I watched the interaction between the artists first off-stage and then on-stage, I became slightly uncomfortable. Both artists wore wedding rings and my friend mentioned that they were both married, but not to each other. The interaction on stage, however, seemed to tell a different story. I ran into a couple other people I knew at the show and both commented on the intense flirtatious interaction of the artists as well.
I left the show a little frustrated and disappointed to be honest. Even if the interaction between the artists is just for the sake of the show, isn't the value of marriage more sacred than ticket or cd sales? After all, today's world doesn't offer us many examples of incredible marriages. Marriages that are built around unconditional love. A love in such opposition to our selfish nature, that it requires work. Love is not easy to come by and to maintain (lust is).
The next day, I learned that one of the artists was actually someone who had released some Christian albums in the past. I worked at a Christian bookstore in high school when she was big and was very familiar with her past albums. This connection made me even more confused.
Our lives are always on display, on-stage or off. For those who believe in God, every action and decision we make is an opportunity to testify to His glory. With a platform so big and a nightly stage so easily available, I can't help but wonder...who and what is she performing for? Because to me, the answer to that seemed unclear.
*My blog is my opinion and for that reason, I have left out the name of the band. My objective is reflection and is not to judge anyone, especially someone I don't even know. I'm sure I often reflect the Gospel or God poorly in my own life. I just want to be a follower and to encourage other believers to realize that our lives (actions) are always on display, whether good or bad, and may come into question by a non-believer. God is always the correct answer, but is He always the answer we are pointing toward?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Because her words are wise...
A few quotes I've really enjoyed recently...all belonging to Mother Teresa.
"Love, to be real, must cost- it must hurt- it must empty us of self." -Mother Teresa
There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in - that we do it to God, to Christ, and that's why we try to do it as beautifully as possible.
Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness.
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
What I can do, you cannot. What you can do, I cannot. But together we can do something beautiful for God.
Doubt takes away your freedom.
"Love, to be real, must cost- it must hurt- it must empty us of self." -Mother Teresa
There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in - that we do it to God, to Christ, and that's why we try to do it as beautifully as possible.
Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness.
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
What I can do, you cannot. What you can do, I cannot. But together we can do something beautiful for God.
Doubt takes away your freedom.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Jesus isn't for quitters.
While I did work with a phenomenal group of women at a non-profit, my position was leaving me restless. My job entailed going into the classroom three times a week and teaching students about relationships. The program was in its infancy and I found myself researching and lesson planning, pouring hours of myself into finding good videos or neat articles. But it seemed that every time I arrived to class, the students were fairly uninterested and appeared to have just received large doses of caffeine.
I wanted out. Not out of the organization, but out of the NOISE. I wanted to pour into people and have them listen and to ultimately pour back into me. And it hit me...Jesus wants that from me too. He shows up everyday in my life and I'm distracted, fairly uninterested at times, and loaded up with caffeine. He is the teacher...and I (well, let's be honest...we) are the classroom of reckless teenagers.
I prayed about the decision to quit my job...and leaving wasn't easy. It still isn't easy. Less than five days later I'm beginning to panic about money. I'm questioning the very place that I feel God lead me to. I find myself thinking about things, and then re-thinking about things, and then over-thinking all those very same things.
But today, I was able to be quiet for a few moments...and the Lord reminded me of something: Jesus isn't for quitters. Following Him doesn't mean I won't be scared, because sometimes that fear teaches us reliance and humility. Following Him isn't about having too much, it's about having what's necessary, having enough, and being promised provision. Following Him isn't about my comfort or my glory. Following Him is simply about following Him. (Confused?)
Following Him just means chasing after Him, not losing sight of Him. It's ok to just see the back of Him and not know where He is going. He is God. What lies ahead of us and often what lies behind us aren't as important as whom it is that we're following to get there.
So, I am going to panic...I am going to be scared...I am going to feel uncomfortable...perhaps even overwhelmed, defeated, or uncertain...but what I'm NOT going to do...is give up. Because following Jesus ANYWHERE is still worth following Jesus.
"And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage..." -Galations 6:9 (Joyce Meyer Devotional)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wisdom in other's words...
"There are times when something needs to be done and yet we know that if we step up and do this needful thing, we will pay a heavy personal price..." -CS Lewis
"It is about the greatness of God, not the significance of man. God made man small and the universe big to say something about himself." -John Piper
"We serve God be serving other. The world defines greatness in terms of power, possessions, and prestige, and position. If you can demand service from others, you've arrived. In our self-serving culture with its me-first mentality, acting like a servant is not a popular concept." -Rick Warren
"The purpose exceeds the pain." -Beth Moore
"It is about the greatness of God, not the significance of man. God made man small and the universe big to say something about himself." -John Piper
"We serve God be serving other. The world defines greatness in terms of power, possessions, and prestige, and position. If you can demand service from others, you've arrived. In our self-serving culture with its me-first mentality, acting like a servant is not a popular concept." -Rick Warren
"The purpose exceeds the pain." -Beth Moore
"God doesn't tell you to do hard things so He can stand back and laugh and watch you struggle . He tells you to do things, the things that He knows are gonna work out for your good in the end." -Joyce Meyer |
Thursday, February 24, 2011
So true.
"It is so easy to try to use techniques with the underlying intent of getting something back. But God will test our hearts and, in his mercy, purify our motives to the point that our only agenda is to know Him." -Dave Whitehead, Senior Pastor, GraceNYC.org
From: www.thedailybibleverse.org
From: www.thedailybibleverse.org
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The Miss(es).
In my recent observations of the world (well, women really) around me and with (perhaps) a bit of self-reflection, it seems I have discovered a weakness in some single women. (It's about time, right?) We, single women*, tend to live at extremes.
Let me explain. It seems there are some women who have abandoned all values and self-respect and seem to date any guy who has a shirt on. And then there are women so tied up in fairytales that they overlook several princes. Let's call the first single type of woman "Miss Opportunity" and the second type of single lady "Miss Overlook."
There are a number of reasons that could define why "Miss Opportunity" dates any guy who registers a pulse. However, I think that two reasons are most likely. She could be fearful of ending up alone or she could misinformed when it comes to her worth. The fear is the easier one to resolve. "Miss Opportunity" may not understand that she is valuable...and in the eyes of an incredible God, she is full of beauty. She doesn't need to settle for something or someone that fills her "love" bank temporarily and then at any sign of withdrawal, leaves her feeling empty. In an attempt to feel comfortable and secure again, she reinvests herself in something and someone new. "Miss Opportunity", hear me when I say, that God will overfill your "love" bank and even replenish it when you're the one who withdrawals. But first, you must recognize that you are searching for unconditional love in a world full of conditions. You must first realize that you have value and beauty. God sees it and with Him you will never be alone.
"Miss Overlook" probably knows God. She may have just started trusting Him or may have trusted Him for years. And because of this, she knows that she is God's wonderful daughter. So what's the problem? Well "Miss Overlook" finds it hard to give any guy a chance (though she may not even be aware of it) because she is imposing her view of God on man. There is one God and many men. Men are in Christ's image, but are not Christ. Do not forget that they have faults. Do not forget that they have pasts. Do not forget they make mistakes. Do not forget that they may struggle with showing loving or executing forgiveness. (And don't forget "Miss Overlook" you may struggle with those things too). A man may not always share your definition of love. His idea of fighting for you may seem more to you like him surrendering (giving up). "Miss Overlook" realize that the way God, your Father, loves you is the way you should attempt to love. And then instead of looking to receive a particular definition of love that you think will satisfy you, you will be able to give God's love. And it may be through the giving of Christ-like love that you find love back. Love that you're thankful you didn't overlook.
*The term "single women" in this post refers to females who are not yet married.
Let me explain. It seems there are some women who have abandoned all values and self-respect and seem to date any guy who has a shirt on. And then there are women so tied up in fairytales that they overlook several princes. Let's call the first single type of woman "Miss Opportunity" and the second type of single lady "Miss Overlook."
There are a number of reasons that could define why "Miss Opportunity" dates any guy who registers a pulse. However, I think that two reasons are most likely. She could be fearful of ending up alone or she could misinformed when it comes to her worth. The fear is the easier one to resolve. "Miss Opportunity" may not understand that she is valuable...and in the eyes of an incredible God, she is full of beauty. She doesn't need to settle for something or someone that fills her "love" bank temporarily and then at any sign of withdrawal, leaves her feeling empty. In an attempt to feel comfortable and secure again, she reinvests herself in something and someone new. "Miss Opportunity", hear me when I say, that God will overfill your "love" bank and even replenish it when you're the one who withdrawals. But first, you must recognize that you are searching for unconditional love in a world full of conditions. You must first realize that you have value and beauty. God sees it and with Him you will never be alone.
"Miss Overlook" probably knows God. She may have just started trusting Him or may have trusted Him for years. And because of this, she knows that she is God's wonderful daughter. So what's the problem? Well "Miss Overlook" finds it hard to give any guy a chance (though she may not even be aware of it) because she is imposing her view of God on man. There is one God and many men. Men are in Christ's image, but are not Christ. Do not forget that they have faults. Do not forget that they have pasts. Do not forget they make mistakes. Do not forget that they may struggle with showing loving or executing forgiveness. (And don't forget "Miss Overlook" you may struggle with those things too). A man may not always share your definition of love. His idea of fighting for you may seem more to you like him surrendering (giving up). "Miss Overlook" realize that the way God, your Father, loves you is the way you should attempt to love. And then instead of looking to receive a particular definition of love that you think will satisfy you, you will be able to give God's love. And it may be through the giving of Christ-like love that you find love back. Love that you're thankful you didn't overlook.
*The term "single women" in this post refers to females who are not yet married.
Monday, February 7, 2011
In death, there is new life...
“Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. 5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath.”— Psalm 39: 4-5
I recently attended the funeral of my Aunt Curtis, an incredible woman. For those of you who don't know me, I dread funerals. I know that no one likes them, but I absolutely hate them. I get uncomfortable even thinking about them. In fact, my aunt's funeral was the first I've attended since my father passed away in June 2008. However, I'm glad that I went because I was able to see the beauty in a woman who lived for Christ. It's no secret that she will be missed on this side of eternity, but she now gets to spend her days in the tangible presence of the Lord. It's easy for us to forget about death, a fate that we all have in common, but I think reminding ourselves that death is near will allow us to truly live. We aren't supposed to just be preparing for eternity. We should be living for it. Living a life practicing for it. Practicing praising and pleasing the Lord. I hope that I will not focus on death, but on the two sides of life that it separates. Because death is just an exit to a life "with" God's presence and an entrance to a life "in" God's presence.
I recently attended the funeral of my Aunt Curtis, an incredible woman. For those of you who don't know me, I dread funerals. I know that no one likes them, but I absolutely hate them. I get uncomfortable even thinking about them. In fact, my aunt's funeral was the first I've attended since my father passed away in June 2008. However, I'm glad that I went because I was able to see the beauty in a woman who lived for Christ. It's no secret that she will be missed on this side of eternity, but she now gets to spend her days in the tangible presence of the Lord. It's easy for us to forget about death, a fate that we all have in common, but I think reminding ourselves that death is near will allow us to truly live. We aren't supposed to just be preparing for eternity. We should be living for it. Living a life practicing for it. Practicing praising and pleasing the Lord. I hope that I will not focus on death, but on the two sides of life that it separates. Because death is just an exit to a life "with" God's presence and an entrance to a life "in" God's presence.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Austin and then some.
Found this in my blog draft pile. I tend to write things and then think it isn't good timing or that it doesn't make sense. Luckily I save them, because this one makes sense to me now...so I thought I'd share.
Written in July 2010:
Written in July 2010:
So, I've been in Texas for close to two weeks now. I've gotten to see some old friends, I've had the chance to eat some great food, I've gotten to discover what the Alamo was/is, but mostly...I've gotten to learn about my own relationship with the Lord. I've asked myself some hard questions like: Do I really completely trust Him?, Do I believe in His mercy?, Can I define His love? And my questions have brought me here: "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you," says the Lord. "I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land." Jeremiah 29:11-14
Can I completely trust Him? Trust makes us really vulnerable and that makes it scary. To put my life and my plans and my passions in the hands of someone else and expect them to make the right decision.
Why can't we trust a Creator who says He knows the plans for our entire lives and says those plans are good? Why do we put complete trust in other human beings, people who don't know the plans for our lives and often don't even know the plans for their own? I can trust Him. I will trust Him. But I must know Him and be building a relationship with Him to do so.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Humble High
Don't take the high road so you can look down on others...Take the high road because you look up to Him.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Four Miles for Our Father...
My sister and I will be returning to NYC in March to run (Yes, I said RUN) in a Colon Cancer Awareness Event in memory of our incredible father. Please support the event and it's research if you can. We appreciate all of you and your support, whether it be in prayer or financial support for the event. Thanks so much!
http://www.firstgiving.com/mar
http://www.firstgiving.com/mar
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