Sometimes when our mind is dark and our heart is heavy, we get the desire to "run away"...to go anywhere but "home." As I approach a very sad date in my life next week, I have found this to be the case for me...I'm running. To what or to where, I don't know. The people I'm finding along the way however, seem to be more beneficial than the "run."
A few weeks ago, J.M. and I (and two of her friends) stumbled upon a homeless lady, Veronica. We helped her find shelter and food, but I came home feeling like we didn't feed or shelter her soul. How could we help Veronica long-term and give her more than a night of refuge, more than just a glimpse of hope.
To make a long story short(er), we invited her to church, I gave her my number, we looked for her and she didn't show up...yada yada yada. Well tonight as I traveled home...seeking something to do, someone to listen to me and someone to listen to...I happened to find Veronica. She was not on her usual bench, but she was in her usual attire and wearing her usual smile. I approached her and greeted her (by using her name...I think we should all be on a first name basis more). She was happy to see me and also happy to ask me to go get Subway. I got Subway and as I sat there with her...I found myself finding true investment in her, in her soul. I wanted to know what those eyes had seen, those ears had heard, and that heart had felt. I wanted to know her deepest secrets and her darkest fears. I wanted her to know that she was handmade by a wonderful God...that she was loved.
She asked if I was going to visit my father this weekend for the holiday and I told her he was no longer alive. (The perfect time to talk about my heavenly father right?) I prayed with her and though I did decline when she offered to come stay with me at my own house...I will see her again I'm sure.
As I walked away she said "Bye Britteni. I love you." and I knew she meant it. I knew she was sincere. And for some reason all my little problems of today, didn't matter...because I had given and received love.
My relationship with God is one where I'm usually receieving and not giving...I thought tonight how much I could gain if I treated my relationship with God like I did my interaction with Veronica. Instead of just passing Him by, I would stop. I'd hear His orders (in her case, a sub) and I'd obey. I'd sit with Him and enjoy His presence. I'd call Him by name. I'd get excited to meet with Him again. And I'd listen closely because I wouldn't want to miss Him say "I love you, Britteni"...
Wow. I needed that... It's good to read how God is working through you as well as Veronica. He's amazing like that.
ReplyDeleteThat story absolutely convicts me! It's one of those things that I think about often (not passing up a God moment), but usually don't have the courage to face. I hope that the next time I have the opportunity, I'll think of this story and not pass it up!
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