Jesus isn't for quitters.

Panic has always been my neighbor, you know the one that watches you and always comes over at an inconvenient time. The one who doesn't want to help, but rather to hover over you and make you feel nervous. Well, panic stopped by today... I recently quit my job with a non-profit to pursue the Lord, both directly and indirectly.

While I did work with a phenomenal group of women at a non-profit, my position was leaving me restless. My job entailed going into the classroom three times a week and teaching students about relationships. The program was in its infancy and I found myself researching and lesson planning, pouring hours of myself into finding good videos or neat articles. But it seemed that every time I arrived to class, the students were fairly uninterested and appeared to have just received large doses of caffeine. 

I wanted out. Not out of the organization, but out of the NOISE. I wanted to pour into people and have them listen and to ultimately pour back into me. And it hit me...Jesus wants that from me too. He shows up everyday in my life and I'm distracted, fairly uninterested at times, and loaded up with caffeine. He is the teacher...and I (well, let's be honest...we) are the classroom of reckless teenagers. 

I prayed about the decision to quit my job...and leaving wasn't easy. It still isn't easy. Less than five days later I'm beginning to panic about money. I'm questioning the very place that I feel God lead me to. I find myself thinking about things, and then re-thinking about things, and then over-thinking all those very same things. 

But today, I was able to be quiet for a few moments...and the Lord reminded me of something: Jesus isn't for quitters. Following Him doesn't mean I won't be scared, because sometimes that fear teaches us reliance and humility. Following Him isn't about having too much, it's about having what's necessary, having enough, and being promised provision. Following Him isn't about my comfort or my glory. Following Him is simply about following Him. (Confused?) 

Following Him just means chasing after Him, not losing sight of Him. It's ok to just see the back of Him and not know where He is going. He is God. What lies ahead of us and often what lies behind us aren't as important as whom it is that we're following to get there.

So, I am going to panic...I am going to be scared...I am going to feel uncomfortable...perhaps even overwhelmed, defeated, or uncertain...but what I'm NOT going to do...is give up. Because following Jesus ANYWHERE is still worth following Jesus.

"And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage..." -Galations 6:9 (Joyce Meyer Devotional)